How ideal would it be if we could get back to basics and have most moms experience natural birth the way it was intended to be! With the high caesarean rate, natural births have taken a back seat. The reason for this may, to some extent, be due to fear and a lack of knowledge. Some busy-busy-busy moms also find it more convenient to schedule the birth date in order to get on with life. All that’s needed is a tick in their diary to show that the task as complete and then life goes on as planned. Although we respect every single mom’s choice of birth, we’d like to encourage you to try and go natural. From our side we’ll offer support in the form of solid information to help you decide what birth option will be best suited for you.

So, what exactly is a doula?
Mommy’s little helper

Origin: Doula is a Greek word and means ‘woman caregiver’.

The short and sweet is that a doula is an assistant that provides non-medical support. The support may be during your prenatal period, childbirth or postnatal, depending on your preference and her experience and background. Most importantly, she provides emotional support and an objective viewpoint, something any woman can appreciate!

What does a doula do
What doesn’t she do?

• She offers continuous physical, emotional and informational support during your pregnancy, birth (home, hospital or clinic) and postpartum period.
• She understands the birthing process and general medical interventions and can keep you posted on what’s happening at all times, which usually relieves some tension.
• Provides emotional support throughout your pregnancy, birth and thereafter.
• Gives tips and advice on physical fitness to ensure a more comfortable pregnancy and birth.
• Assists in preparing the birth plan; Acts as the your voice during labour and makes sure that the parents’ wishes are respected at all times.
• Provides massage and other non-pharmacological pain relief measures.
• Suggests different birth positions and assists with the birth.
• Provides support to the partner so that he can in turn encourage you.
• Helps to avoid unnecessary medical intervention where possible.
• Assists with breastfeeding.
• Is present during the birth and afterwards for as long as you might need her.

Questions to ask a doula
Her pedigree

• What is your education for providing labour support?
• Are you certified by a labour support training program?
• How long have you been in practice and how many births have you attended?
• Do you have education and experience in any other type of care such as childbirth education, midwifery care, nursing care, breastfeeding support or postpartum doula support?
• What is your philosophy with regards to birth? How do you view your role at the birth?
• Can you supply us with recent references?
• What services do you provide during labour and birth? What do you bring with you?
• How do you help women cope with labour pain?
• At what stage would you be with me in labour? How long would you stay after the birth?
• Do you offer any postpartum services? Breastfeeding advice and assistance?
• Are you available by phone? In person?
• Where would my husband fit in?
• What is your fee, what does it include and how is it payable? Any hidden costs?
• Are you available at all times and if not, what is the back-up plan? Can I meet the back-up individual?
• Do you know of anything that may cause you to be unavailable?
• Do you have any other clients that are due around the same time as me?
• What is your relationship with midwives, medical caregivers, hospitals etc.? Have you ever worked with my caregiver of choice?
• What do you expect from us?
• If you were looking for a doula to assist at your birth, what would you look for?
• How do you feel about……. (list any concerns).

Interesting facts
Did you know?

A world wide study involving more than 1500 women found that moms that made use of doulas were the ones with the shortest labours (can life get any better?!) More interesting stats with regards to doulas:

• Greater than 50% drop in caesarean births
• 30% reduction in the mother’s need for medication
• 60% reduction in epidural requests
• 40% reduction in forceps delivery

There you have it. It’s important to be informed so that you can make an educated decision when it comes to choosing a winning pregnancy and childbirth team.

“If a doula were a drug, it would be unethical not to use it.”
- Suzanne Arms ‘Birthing the Future’

Click here if you want to list your services as a doula on our website

References:
Doula.org
Wombs.org.za

Purchase the book

Read on as we guide you through the basics.

Pssssssssssssss(t)!
A few pointers before we get going

• Don’t start too soon
  Children are ready for potty-training anywhere between 18 months and 3 years.  Girls are generally quicker off the mark in this department than boys, and take to the training faster and more easily.
• Be on the lookout for signs of readiness
  It’s a fact that if your child is ready, the process will be simple.  If not, you’re in for a battle. Age is not the only determining factor in deciding to start potty-training:  physiological and psychological readiness is important too.  See the list below for signs to watch out for.
• Go with the flow (sorry, we couldn’t resist)
  Once you’ve begun the training, don’t rush your child through the process.  Each child responds differently, with some toddlers catching on in a day or two and others taking up to 6 months to get it right.  If he resists and is not having any of it, maybe now is not the right time. Relax.  It will happen!  We promise that you won’t be changing your son’s diapers forever.
• Get ready
  Read all the information you can get your hands on so that you know what to expect.  Buy some illustrated children’s books on the subject and read aloud to your child.  Allow him to watch other family members use the toilet, and (not for the squeamish) dispose of the contents of a nappy in the toilet so that he knows what it’s for, and then let him flush it.
• Go shopping
  Take your little one shopping for his very own potty, and spend some time decorating it with stickers depicting his favourite characters.  You can even name his little throne:  Jon’s John or Lou’s Loo would work well!  Buy him a few sets of disposable training pants, just in case.
• Talk the talk
  Teach him the lingo:  whether you want to go (for example) with “wee” and “poop” or “number one” and “number two” is really up to you.  Whatever you choose, use the terms consistently and tell all the other family members and caregivers in the home what you’ll be using, so as to avoid confusing your trainee.
• Set aside some time
  Make sure that you’ve cleared your schedule for a week or so to get the plan in motion.  Your child needs consistent direction and guidance, which is best done when there are no external stresses or time constraints.  Don’t begin during a difficult period: if your child is unwell or unhappy, you’re having guests for an extended period or moving house, for instance.  Start with a clean slate.
• Stay positive
  Try to maintain a cheerful, supportive attitude while potty-training your child.  Offer constant encouragement and don’t fall into the trap of punishing or berating him if he doesn’t get it right within your expected time-frame.  This could lead to relapses later… and you don’t want those!
• Be patient
  As with most important parenting issues, these things take time.  Stay calm, no matter what happens and just know that this, too, shall pass.

Time to go?
How to know if your child is ready

You know your child better than anyone, so recognizing these signs of readiness will be a piece of cake. It’s likely your child is ready if he:

• can understand and obey age-appropriate instructions
• verbalises himself well and asks basic questions
• is displaying increased independence
• enjoys dressing himself
• can pull down his own pants or disposable trainers, and pull them up again
• goes for a stretch of two hours or more with a dry nappy
• wakes up with a dry nappy
• has fairly regular bowel movements
• expresses that he needs to or is about to go in his nappy by stance, facial expressions or verbally
• expresses that his nappy has been wet or soiled
• displays discomfort when wearing a used nappy
• understands toilet terminology
• can get on to and off the potty by himself
• shows interest in using or directly asks to use the toilet or potty
• can control the muscles responsible for bowel movement and urination

Target practice
Getting down to the nitty gritty of potty-training

Okay.  You’ve recognised the signs of readiness, you’ve got the potty and you’ve prepared yourself and your little one, so… gee whiz! It’s toilet time. Follow these guidelines for good results (not forgetting to stay calm and supportive):

Get the potty out
Together with your child, make a ceremony of placing his brand new potty in the bathroom.  Explain that he is going to be using it from now on whenever he needs to go.  Don’t let him feel pressurised or intimidated, but show him that you’re excited and tell him that he’s a big boy.  If possible, place a potty in every bathroom in the house and pop an extra one in the boot of your car for when you’re out visiting family and friends.  Consistency is key.

Schedule toilet time
Get him to remove his training pants or trousers, and ask him to sit on his potty, asking him to do what needs to be done, using the terminology you’ve taught him.  He’ll get the idea eventually.At specific intervals during the day, visit the bathroom together.  Elimination generally occurs within one hour of eating or drinking – bear this in mind when planning trips to the loo. If he wants privacy, turn your back if it makes him feel more comfortable, and if he wants to get off, don’t stop him.

Make a run for it
Be prepared to dash to the bathroom at the drop of a hat.  Watch out for signs that he’s about to do his business.  Every child is different:  some may have a specific facial expression, whilst others grow very quiet and still, squat down or race out of the room.  When this happens, quickly encourage him to run to his potty.   Eventually, he’ll recognise these signals himself and will be dashing off to the bathroom all by himself.

Make hygiene a priority
Teach your little one to wash his hands after using the loo, and keep the bowl of the potty rinsed and disinfected at all times.

Offer rewards
An incentive can go a long way.  By offering your child a special sweet or surprise may encourage him to go the extra mile – but try not to overuse this technique.

Praise good results and make light of accidents
Don’t stop offering positive reinforcement, even when things aren’t going brilliantly.  Your love and support is really important during this process and can’t be emphasised enough.  When accidents happen (and they will), play them down and don’t show frustration or disappointment, as this can cause self-esteem problems and subsequent setbacks.

Be realistic
As we have already mentioned, this process is going to take time, a sense of humour, good planning and a whole lot of patience.  Don’t listen to negative feedback from others, and just keep at it.

You’ll get there.

REFERENCES
www.familydoctor.org
www.mayoclinic.com
www.keepkidshealthy.com
www.dictionaryfordads.com
www.kidshealth.org
www.drphil.com

Print the checklist